my friends...

It's hard to hang out with people who haven't changed when you have changed a whole bunch. The change in my life is magnified when I'm around the people I used to be like. It's good to see that I actually changed, and it's not a figment of my imagination, but at the same time it's a little depressing.

I want to make one thing clear though: I do not think I'm better than my friends. I love these people, and I wouldn't trade their friendship, but I have allowed God to change me, mold me, break me, and do whatever He wants to me to make me who He created me to be.

At my friend's birthday pool party, I realized that I do not fit in. Which is fine. Because I'm not supposed to fit in. I'm supposed to be different. I'm supposed to be set apart. And I have to come to terms with that, and accept what God has for me.

I'm not sure if God brought opportunities for me to hang out with them just so that I could see that I have changed, or if He wants me to be back in their lives as well. Am I strong enough? Have I grown enough? Have I been trained to the point that I can still be Jesus to my friends without being dragged down?

Now I remember the thing I wrote saying that I can't be afraid to fail, because then I won't take a step of faith and I won't have the chance to succeed. I need to step out in faith. God gave me the people I hang out with for a reason. He's gonna move; I'm expecting it. And I've learned, that when I ask God to come, and I actually expect Him to answer my request, that HE COMES!!! HE MOVES!!! HE CHANGES LIVES!!! It's an amazing experience.