the phrase of the day: dang it!

I want to cry
Giving up things that God asks of you to give up is HARD!
want the whole story? okay....

The other day I was thinking to myself....
To the world, I'm kinda dating around
I hang out with 4 guys alone, consistently
Then I decided to stop thinking about that, cause I didn't think it was that important
Yesterday it came up in my mind again
This time, my mind wandered to when the last time I consistently hung out alone with a girl
since Sarah and Anna left, I could count the times I've had good hang out times alone with a girl on one hand
Sad, isn't it?
Then I thought to myself "I'll just work harder on my friendships with girls, and also keep hanging out with guys too."
Then God said "no, that's not all"
He told me that I have to stop hanging out alone with guys all together
DANG IT!
I kind of waved it off like He didn't really say that
Then he reminded me of all the times I've prayed for Him to take EVERYTHING, anything He wants
DANG IT again!
So I said I would obey
Then He reminded me that He is calling me to a higher standard, a higher level of purity, and being totally set apart
This morning I cried for half an hour
then I took a shower while listening to Death Cab for Cutie
And I felt a ton better
But it still sucks

Oh yeah, and God told me that I have to tell all the boys that I hang out with alone that I can't do that anymore....
1 down, 3 to go
it's so hard
1 of them comes back from brazil tomorrow
I haven't seen him for a month
and he's probably gonna want to hang out
dang it......