what a day....
this morning I got up at 8. It felt good, but I was still tired. I had a good talk with Celia Dooley (ps, that's her new name, LoL) last night. It was one of those "I'm tired, and talking my head off" but it was good cause I got things out that I hadn't in a while.
I went to bed around midnight, which is earlier then I've done in a while. I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that I was walking on Park (right in front of Harstad) and there was this car that was parked there with a guy in it, staring at me. He grabbed me (somehow, I don't know how I was that close to his car) and said "You're gonna have sex with me." I freaked out, and started screaming, but there was no one around. I tried to get away, and I finally did and the button for Campus Safety was close, so I slammed it, and right when I did, the guy sped off but before he did he yelled "bitch, you're gonna die!" I was relieved that he left, but I started sobbing. Wes was on duty, and he came to the campus safety call. He asked me what happened and I explained it. Then my dream was done. But I've been thinking about it all day. And this is one of my biggest fears. All day I was freaked out of my mind, scared at the drive-through that someone was going to jump at me, scared walking from my door to my car, scared to be in my house alone. I'm pretty sure Satan needs to get off my back, and LEAVE ME ALONE!
So back to this morning. I got up and read the Bible, because we all promised we'd be prepared at prayer tonight. Before I started reading I prayed: "God, I don't want to say something tonight just to say something. I want it to be from You. So if You have something for me to say, speak to me. If not, don't let me read something and make it be from You." He definitely spoke to me. He gave me 3 words to say tonight! One from 1 Kings about Elijah.
He prayed HARD for it to rain. He told his servant a whopping 7 times to go check and see if there was a cloud on the horizon. The whole time he was in a fetal position, crying out to God, desperate for it to rain. Are we gonna be that committed, that desperate, that persistant?
The 2nd thing God sent me to, was the story of Elisha. He asked for a double portion....AND GOT IT! We have such a heritage at PLU of people who have done great things. Are we gonna be bold and ask for a double portion of that?
The 3rd thing God told me to share is from Ezekiel. It's in chapter 36, I think. There's one verse that says that the land of our forefathers is ours as well. We don't have to step back, we can take the land that the generations before us have already taken, and then take more land from the enemy's grip.
moving on to other great subjects.....
Everyone at the Y is hooking up! There are now 4 couples that are dating at the YMCA. Plus, my coworkers who don't have significant others that work at the Y, bring their significant others TO the Y. AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! And of course my best friend just had to bring her baby into the Y so that everyone could see him. I want a baby! And I want a relationship! and it doesn't help that about 5 people have asked me "what's going on with ******?" NOTHING! But at the same time, am I ready for a relationship? No! Do I have time for one? No! will it distract me from God right now? Yes! So basically, right now is not the time. But when it is time, it will be great, because it will be God's timing, not mine! But sometimes, I just wanna rush it, and be in someone's arms. That's just the mushy romantic girl on the inside.
Well, it's almost time to go the desperation prayer. Am I desperate? You better believe it!
I went to bed around midnight, which is earlier then I've done in a while. I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that I was walking on Park (right in front of Harstad) and there was this car that was parked there with a guy in it, staring at me. He grabbed me (somehow, I don't know how I was that close to his car) and said "You're gonna have sex with me." I freaked out, and started screaming, but there was no one around. I tried to get away, and I finally did and the button for Campus Safety was close, so I slammed it, and right when I did, the guy sped off but before he did he yelled "bitch, you're gonna die!" I was relieved that he left, but I started sobbing. Wes was on duty, and he came to the campus safety call. He asked me what happened and I explained it. Then my dream was done. But I've been thinking about it all day. And this is one of my biggest fears. All day I was freaked out of my mind, scared at the drive-through that someone was going to jump at me, scared walking from my door to my car, scared to be in my house alone. I'm pretty sure Satan needs to get off my back, and LEAVE ME ALONE!
So back to this morning. I got up and read the Bible, because we all promised we'd be prepared at prayer tonight. Before I started reading I prayed: "God, I don't want to say something tonight just to say something. I want it to be from You. So if You have something for me to say, speak to me. If not, don't let me read something and make it be from You." He definitely spoke to me. He gave me 3 words to say tonight! One from 1 Kings about Elijah.
He prayed HARD for it to rain. He told his servant a whopping 7 times to go check and see if there was a cloud on the horizon. The whole time he was in a fetal position, crying out to God, desperate for it to rain. Are we gonna be that committed, that desperate, that persistant?
The 2nd thing God sent me to, was the story of Elisha. He asked for a double portion....AND GOT IT! We have such a heritage at PLU of people who have done great things. Are we gonna be bold and ask for a double portion of that?
The 3rd thing God told me to share is from Ezekiel. It's in chapter 36, I think. There's one verse that says that the land of our forefathers is ours as well. We don't have to step back, we can take the land that the generations before us have already taken, and then take more land from the enemy's grip.
moving on to other great subjects.....
Everyone at the Y is hooking up! There are now 4 couples that are dating at the YMCA. Plus, my coworkers who don't have significant others that work at the Y, bring their significant others TO the Y. AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! And of course my best friend just had to bring her baby into the Y so that everyone could see him. I want a baby! And I want a relationship! and it doesn't help that about 5 people have asked me "what's going on with ******?" NOTHING! But at the same time, am I ready for a relationship? No! Do I have time for one? No! will it distract me from God right now? Yes! So basically, right now is not the time. But when it is time, it will be great, because it will be God's timing, not mine! But sometimes, I just wanna rush it, and be in someone's arms. That's just the mushy romantic girl on the inside.
Well, it's almost time to go the desperation prayer. Am I desperate? You better believe it!
posted by Nikki | 9:44 PM
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