it's true: if you're attacked, it means you're doing something right

Prayer was great last night. We were in there from 9 to midnight. How cool is that? For the first half hour we sang kiddie praise songs (i've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart, where?). Then we sang some real worship songs. Then we prayed over each other and got cool pictures for each other and prophesied. it was great.

As soon as I stepped out, Satan started attacking. Samuel prayed over me that things would be broken off (wounds, hooks, etc). It felt good to feel them coming off. But then Satan used one of my best friends to grab me again and open a wound that they already knew about.

Why is it the little things that get me down?

One thing Samuel said is that I have people around me fighting for me. Well, sometimes it feels like some people fight against me, even the ones that are closest to me. Do you not remember that I have these wounds in my heart, deep down? Why reopen them? I could fend off attacks from people that I don't know very well, or people that I dislike. But my closest friends?

And this is what sets the tears off. After everything that we talked about without me crying, it's this that brings the tears in a flood.

I'll say it again: it hurts me deeply when people interrupt me. It tells me that what I have to say is not important, and therefore, I'M not important enough.

These are the times I want to crawl back in my shell, keep my heart behind a wall, and put on my face that says "I'm okay, I'm happy, no need to discuss my issues, cause they're all dealt with"

Now I'm off to work, to put on a good face, and act like my life is amazing, cover the wounds, and forget about them.