me, an atheist? NEVER

I realized something about myself today.

I am confident in my faith in Jesus Christ.

What an amazing revelation. I was discussing why I believe in a God who is a real being and not just an idea with a coworker. He was basically telling me (in the nicest way possible) that my beliefs were stupid and pointless. He asked me, "If you died and there was nothing after and no god, would you still say your life and all you did for God was worth it?" Without a pause I said, "yes." I almost couldn't believe myself. I actually said yes. I was being looked down on because of my relationship with Jesus and I didn't care. I told him about my experience at the Soul Survivor camp. Basically, it was that I *felt* God's love for me. There were no words to really explain it but I did my best. I couldn't believe I was sharing such a vulnerable piece of my life with this person. But I wanted him to know about situations that are unexplainable without God. If there is no God, I was standing there crying because of NOTHING. If there is no God, praying is just talking to yourself. If there is no God, I am insane.

It made me think about how I am living my life. If I'm not living with everything for God, than living at all for Him is pointless. If I'm going to be a fool for Him, being sort of a fool some of the time is again pointless. But if I'm living with everything, being a completely insane fool for Jesus, than my life will be worth it.

There are times when faith and common sense do not align
And hardcore evidence of You is hard to find
I am silenced in the face of argumentative debate
And it's a long hill it's a lonely climb

Cause they want proof
They want proof of all these mysteries I claim
Cause only fools would want to chant a dead man's name

Maybe it's true yeah
I would be a foold for You
All because You asked me to
A simpleton who's seemingly naive
I do believe
You came and made Yourself a fool for me

I admit that in my darkest hours I asked what if
What if we created some kind of man made faith like this?
Out of good intention or emotional invention
And after life is through there would be no You

Cause they want proof of all these miracles I claim
Cause only fools believe that men can walk on waves
Maybe it's true

I would be a fool for You
All because You asked me to
A simpleton who's seemingly naive
I do believe
You came and made yourself a fool for me

Unaware of popularity
Unconcerned with dignity
You made me free
That's proof enough for me

I would be a fool for You
Only if You asked me to
A simpleton who's only thinking of the cause of love
I will speak Jesus' name
If that makes me crazy, they can call me crazed
I'm happy to be seemingly naive
I do believe
You came and made Yourself a fool for me

It's amazing how much Nichole Nordeman's songs have explained exactly where I'm at.