oh the many topics I choose to discuss

so I've been kind of angry lately. And not without merit. Angry at my sister's situation, angry at work drama, angry at friends, angry at school, angry about house drama, angry at my speeding ticket, and for once in my life NOT angry at any of my family members. wow. Then I talked to the amazing emilys. They said that this time of the year is a big attack because of finals, stress, and wouldn't satan love to get me down in the beginning of the summer, just a month before I go to camp seymour (FYI, I haven't gotten the job yet).

Realizing this may make things clearer, but it doesn't make me less angry. I just wanna scream sometimes. It may be running away from my problems, but boy am I glad to be at camp seymour for the summer. It'll be a change of pace, a difference of surroundings, time off from friends, and a change of work drama. I'm sure living with people that I work with will be more drama than I deal with now, but it'll be different drama with different people.

You know what I've realized about myself? I don't flow with one group of people. I can't just hang out every day with my school friends. I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble when I do that. I need space. I need a whole bunch of groups to flow in and out of. I'm a bird. I need adventure. I need to take a road trip all by myself once I get a new car with a radio. Just me, God, and a big city to explore. I need to have parties with lots of people for no other purpose then to have FUN! I need to get my blood flowing. I need to swim. I need to run on the beach. I need to hold on to life and see where it takes me. No more planning. No more scheduling. No more stressing. Go with the flow. And it will all get me ready to explore europe come christmas time. Can you imagine, me in switzerland, walking around the streets of geneve? Or sitting in a cafe in paris on christmas, speaking french to whoever will listen to my horrible accent.

I

CAN'T

WAIT