old friends.....lost friends....

I make a simple request to someone not to bash a friend of mine, and she jumps down my back telling me that I don't ever talk to her unless I'm telling her what not to do. She seemed to forget the time I drove to seattle to hang out with her. Or the day I called her 3 times to wish her a happy birthday. I care about this friendship, but it seems like she doesn't care as much as I do.

Which brings me to something I've been thinking about for a while. My circle of friends have changed drastically in the last year. I went from having 4 best friends to having 4 different best friends. Granted, 2 of the old best friends are still my best friends, but they are half way around the world. And the 2 other best friends I had I feel like I worked my ass off for the friendship, give and give and give. What have I gotten back? It's emotionally exhausting to even think about. We've changed so much I guess. Too much. My old friends have moved on, and new friends have come in. Now I realize why I want this summer job so bad: so I can forget that all my friends are gone. Over the summer the only ones that will be around are Joy, Samuel, and Sarah. Other than that, I will be bored stiff and depressed. I need to branch out, I need to meet new friends. I want so badly to get this camp job. It'll give me something to do to keep my mind of things.

....stop crying Nikki.....