adventure is in the air

Last night I went to the Rewire girls' bible study. For anyone who is new, they have to ask a question, any question, to the rest of group. My question was, "What is your favorite adventure that you've been on?" I had to answer it as well. I realized that I have been on SO many!

**Lake Easton
**California road trips
**countless Westport adventures
**driving aimlessly around Seattle
**random concerts

What will my next big adventure be? I have realized I need a foreign adventure. Will that take form in the Peace Corps? Will I meet someone who will take me around the world? I'm pretty sure the next adventure will not be something like marriage. I need some more single adventures. I haven't lived it all out yet. Although I am crrrrazy excited for Sarah's wedding in 10 days and counting. As much as I give her shit about getting married so young, I am very happy for her, and I think it was a good time, even though it meant not ever being her roommate.

Anyway, I want to travel. I want to find my *own* way around places. I want to make my *own* life. Maybe I'm trying too hard to be independent. I don't know. What I do know is I'm getting fidgety just working my part time YMCA job and living with my parents. REAL fidgety. Time for a change.

Being 19 again

I had a good discussion with a trusted advisor. I like when I process things outloud to people I trust. I like hearing things that are hard but I need to hear them. I like talking to people who actually believe in me and want the best for me.

I realized that I am being an immature, irresponsible adult. I also realized I don't want to be that way. I've been an adult since I was 16, taking care of kids, being completely responsible because I HAD to. Now I'm in a place that I don't HAVE to be responsible. So I kinda went crazy. Now I know that I'm ready to grow up and stop being 19. But I kind of have to take a couple deep breaths before I really take that step. It's hard to be responsible. But it's something that *has* to be done.

...breath...
...breath...
...breath...

I have one more crazy planned. Then I'll calm down. I promise

300th post!

If you just realize

What I just realized

Then we'd be perfect for each other

and we'll never find another

If you just realize

What I just realized

we'd never have to wonder

if we missed out on each other

I can't spell it out for you

No it's never gonna be that simple

No, I can't spell it out for you

It's not the same

No it's never the same

If you don't feel it too

If you meet me half way

If you would meet me half way

It could be the same for you

If you just realize

What I just realized

then we'd be perfect for each other

and we'll never find another

If you just realize

What I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

if we missed out on each other

a blog on "the one"...again

I had a discussion today with the guy that I work with about "the perfect guy."

- loves Jesus more than he loves me - because I can't be the center of someone's world. It's too much pressure!

- musical - not just someone who knows how to play notes but someone who is musical. I know people who know how to play music but are not musical.

- randomly kind - like the time someone borrowed my car and returned it vacuumed and smelling like vanilla

- family man - the kind of guy that's completely respectful to his mother and sisters

- the smile that makes me melt - just like the song

- won't let me leave during a fight - like that one time in yakima or the john mayer song, come back to bed

- laughs at me - cause I do and say the stupidest things sometimes

- forgiving - see the above comment!

- asks for forgiveness - cause i'm sure he will say and do stupid things too

- provides for me - because that's the standard my dad set for me

Black Coffee

I'm feelin' mighty lonesome,

haven't slept a wink,

I walk the floor and watch the door and in between I drink

Black Coffee.

Love's a hand-me-down broom

I'll never know a Sunday,

in this weekday room.

I'm talkin' to the shadows,

one o'clock to four.

And Lord, how slow the moments go

when all I do is pour

Black Coffee.

Since the blues caught my eye.

I'm hangin' out on Monday

my Sunday dreams to dry.

Now a man is born to go a-lovin',

a woman's born to weep and fret,

to stay at home and tend her oven,

and drown her past regrest in

coffee and cigarettes!

I'm moonin' all the mornin',

and mournin' all the night,

and in between it's nicotine

and not much heart to fight

Black Coffee.

Feelin' low as the ground.

It's drivin' me crazy,

this waitin' for my baby,

To maybe come around.

Paul "Boi" Hanna

Yesterday, a coworker of mine was found dead in his home. He was found by his wife, Marisa. His death is mourned by many MANY people. He was the opening guard at the Morgan Family YMCA and then when Gig Harbor opened, he opened there. Every member who came in knew Boi. Every member who knew him liked him. Every coworker enjoyed working with him and being around him. I had the priviledge of working with him a couple times. In the few hours I got to spend with him, I saw his amazing character. He loved his wife and his two year old son, Tristan, with all his heart. He loved people. He could have gotten a better job at the Y but even at 34 years old, all he wanted to do was be around the members as a lifeguard.

Boi will be missed by all who knew him.