Soul Survivor

Newport Beach
We leave in 5 hours
HECK YES!
Why am I still up?
I have no idea
Hopefully I'll have lots of stories to tell
And lots of pictures to share
And lots of tan to show off

13 words to describe what I think Soul Survivor is going to be like
(why 13? because that's how many I thought of)
1 Surfing
2 Music
3 Sand
4 Ocean
5 Camping
6 Tents
7 Crankiness
8 Loud
9 Tired
10 Crazy
11 Hyper
12 Cramped
13 Beautiful

THE END
until i'm back

Isaiah 1

Song inspired by Isaiah Chapter 1
Written April 2004

I can feel the hurt and pain in Your voice
When You quietly speak to me
And open my eyes to what I've done
And who I have become

You have nourished me
Yet I have turned away
A little baby knows its momma
But I do not recognize
The One who has provided for me
And given me the keys to the kingdom of heaven

I do not deserve Your love
But You tell me:
"Though your sins are like scarlet
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red as crimson
They shall be as pale and the moonlight"

I will turn away from the darkness
That i have let surround me
I will put it away never to take it out again
Help me in this amazing endeavor
I can do nothing without Your love

~Nicole Smith

the melancholy rants of a starving artist

I am dealing with a lot
but it's nothing at the same time.
Really confusing....and it'll only be solved if I talk about it out loud.

Basically, I'm an artist and I've been happy for way too long.
I need inspiration! the artist inside of my feeds on depression, and right now it's very hungry.
I have the feeling that something bad is going to happen to me or my family or someone that I'm close with in the next week or so. And then I'll do the crying all the time thing, i'll have inspiration for art/music, i'll feel human, and i'll draw closer to God.
I'm so done with the mountain top.....it's a plateau now, and around the corner is a VERY steep climb. Lately I've felt like I need a really good cry. Or rather, twenty really good cries. I've had a lot of creative energy lately as well, but it's come out as a whole lot of nothing!

I keep having the feeling that especially on this california trip something bad is going to happen. I don't think it has anything to do with the trip, but it's something back in tacoma. OR something to do with my life. Or my family. Or one of my friends. I DON'T KNOW. I don't know if it's a spiritual attack, or God preparing me. I just don't know. I hate this uncertainty, but at the same time, that's what makes life interesting. How could we live without mystery? It's impossible. We would bore ourselves to death.

I really don't know what I'm saying or if it's making any sense. I guess if you're reading this and you want to, pray that whatever happens I'll have the strength, or rather the weakness to come to Jesus and get strength. I don't want prayer for bad things not to happen to me. I know it's gonna happen, because bad things happen in this world. But through the bad things that happen, we gain our identity. We learn more about ourselves and how much we can handle. And then we get over the trial and life goes on as normally as possible.

movies, point defiance, and more

Mr and Mrs Smith with Anna yesterday
Maybe Batman today with Anna, Robbie, and the crew
Point Defiance in the sun
Why is the beach oh so romantic?
Especially when NOTHING IS GOING ON
And when nothing can go on
YET
Because God told me to wait
Fine, I'll wait
But only because I know that God knows what's best
No, more than that
He WANTS what's best AND He knows what's best
Today's lesson: patience
Tune in next time for a lesson on packing small for group trips (yay for CALI)

Life as a Puzzle

Sometimes it seems like my life is an assortment of puzzle pieces
They don't fit together no matter how hard I try
But I'm starting to get them together

Sometimes it takes a while
But in that while
You learn things about yourself
And the portrait that God is painting

The ugliest parts close up
Are the ones that give the picture life
The trials that don't seem to match up
Are the parts that make you who you are

~Nicole Smith
June 2005

What's the deal with blogspot?

So, I decided to get a blogspot, but really only to be able to post comments in Chase's. But who knows, maybe I'll end up posting in here.